Vacation. Just the word can bring a smile to your face. Is your ideal vacation skiing down a snowy mountain side? Or perhaps you enjoy cruising to some far-off exotic place? A vacation may include precious time with distant family members, hiking around a national park, or exploring a new city. Whatever your idea is of a vacation, one thing is for sure. We all need time to let our mind and body relax, change our environment, and rejuvenate our soul.
But when you have a child with special needs, can you truly take a vacation? Yes, you can! But there are a few things you can do to make the time more enjoyable for all family members.
Leave it All Behind
A child with special needs can dictate a lot of what happens during your day-in and day-out family life. When my daughter was young, from about 2 to 6 years of age, we had ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapists coming and going on almost a daily basis.
Early on, I felt pressure to keep the program going and to keep my daughter learning. I put the pressure on myself; no one did it to me. But back during this time I felt like I couldn’t run fast enough. It was almost as if we kept the learning going 24/7, we could somehow outrun this “thing.”
As you gain more experience in this thing called special needs, you learn that there will always be a tomorrow. When your child needs to work, work hard. But when it is time to play, play equally hard.
You need to overcome the self-induced pressure to keep everything moving at a frantic pace. You and your family need and deserve a vacation, so when you plan one, also plan on leaving everything else behind. When you return from your break, you will feel renewed and ready to go again.
Maintain Consistency
We have taken the kids to Hawaii a number of times. This vacation has always offered us a lot of time to relax, alternating days between the pool and the beach. But it wasn’t always this way.
The first time we were in Hawaii, my husband, son, and I wanted to go out to dinner and my daughter was extremely vocal about wanting to stay in and eat at the condo. We had a kitchen and we did plan to cook a couple of dinners. But it was vacation and we did want the luxury of going out to eat: no cooking, no cleaning, no work. We couldn’t believe she didn’t want to sit outside, eat some wonderful food, and watch the sun set. Isn’t that relaxing for everyone?
But this continued to be a sticking point with my daughter. After a day in the sun, what seemed like a relaxing meal to the rest of family was stressful for her.
After that initial trip, I spoke with our educational consultant. I came to realize that I wasn’t being consistent. I needed to carry our home routine to vacation.
Every morning at home, I would create a visual schedule for my daughter that would outline her day. While I verbalized my son’s schedule to him, my daughter was not yet able to keep all that information in her head. The visual schedule allowed her to know exactly what her day would look like.
To turn the restaurant problem around in Hawaii, it was as simple as bringing a modified visual schedule. The schedule was quite basic, but it did the trick. Each day looked something like:
- Breakfast
- Swimming or Beach
- Lunch
- Shower
- Dinner Out or Cooking
- Bedtime
When younger, my daughter wanted a much more detail schedule. Over time, a schedule this simple kept her happy AND kept the family happy.
I wrote a post about Tania Decicco, founder of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) Communications Through Visual Aids. in a post titled Visual and Communication Aids. You can read more about how Tania can help develop the perfect visual aid for your next vacation.
Accommodations
As my daughter has aged into her teenage years (and the diagnoses have piled on), her need for alone time has increased. It takes a lot for her to participate in daily activities and her private time is very important as a stress-reliever.
We visit my sister in Seattle almost every Thanksgiving. Although we all look forward to it, my daughter is always concerned about where she will sleep. What this really means is, “Will I have a place to be alone and relax?”
My sister’s two kids are wonderful and we all make arrangements so that my daughter can have what she needs. If three kids need to be in one room in order for her to have her own space, so be it.
I have found that when we travel, it is crucial to have this understanding from the people who are hosting our stay. If not, then I would opt for a hotel where we can devise our own plan. It makes for a much smoother trip if all family members are able to meet their needs, whatever they may be.
By now you have probably heard of sensory-friendly movie theaters. But have you heard of sensory friendly hotels and resorts? Sensory Star was brought to my attention and it is an organization that is working towards identifying sensory-friendly hotels and resorts for families. You are not yet able to locate these accommodations on their site, but it is coming. Keep them in mind if this is what your child needs.
Conclusion
Traveling has become quite fun for my family, but I can’t say it was always like this. Automatic flushing toilets at the airport could cause distress, as well as the noisy restrooms on an airplane. I remember many times rushing through an airport after a five-hour flight with my daughter in tow, trying to locate the nearest restroom.
Flying can increase anxiety and I probably had the only six-year old child following along with the flight attendant as she went through the emergency procedures. Wanting to make sure she fully understood, my daughter raised her hand once to ask how long the oxygen would last in our masks before it ran out. A flustered flight attendant did not have the answer and I quickly assured her she did NOT need to find out!
We have learned to travel with a nightlight and white noise machine, all needed for a good night sleep. But the more you practice and the more experience your child gets, hopefully the easier it will become. I know for us it did, and it has been worth the practice!
About Danette Schott, M.A.
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