[fbshare]Children become stressed and anxious for many reasons. Our kids may feel overwhelmed by school, frustrated with
their peers, or anxious about an upcoming event.
Today I want to look at the social component of anxiety. Children can have specific or generalized social phobias. Specific social phobias include the fear of speaking in class or in a group of individuals. Generalized social phobia is an anxiety that exists in almost all social situations.
Social anxiety is caused by internal or genetic components and/or external or environmental influences. If a child has at least one socially anxious parent, she has an increased likelihood of inheriting some form of social anxiety.
But the environment or a child’s surroundings also plays an important role in the development of anxiety. Children who are overprotected by their parents can become more anxious. Also, children with special needs, for example, ADHD, Asperger’s, or mental illness, may develop social anxiety as a response to the difficulties they encounter in school and in life in general.
Similar to ADHD, there is no single test that can determine if a child suffers from social anxiety. But you can look for certain signs. Ask yourself the following questions.
- Does your child cry for no reason?
- Does your child tend to cling to you during social settings or when out in public?
- Does your child become anxious and uncomfortable when he is made the focus of attention?
- Does your child refuse to speak in public?
- Does your child refuse to read aloud in school?
- Does your child become overly anxious when called on to answer a question in class?
- Has your child refused to go to school?
- Does your child exhibit a lot of anxiety over tests?
If you answered yes to some of these questions, then your child may be experiencing some degree of anxiety. You, as a parent, can do a lot to help your child with his anxiety and increase his confidence and self-esteem. Don’t focus your attention on his failures or mistakes, but instead, praise your child for his successes. If you don’t know where to start, take a look at S-O-S Step-by-Step on Anxiety and Stress. This program will walk you through the anxiety problem-solving process.
In her article titled Helping Children Cope with Anxiety, Maureen Neihart outlines three steps that parents can take to help alleviate their child’s anxiety. First, help your child to control his breathing. Second, teach your child how to relax. Third, help your child to overcome his fears by not avoiding them.
Take a look at these excellent websites and what they have to offer.
- Charlotte Reznick is an expert on helping children reduce stress through her Imagery for Children program. The program includes relaxation techniques, drawing, journal writing, and more. She has books, CDs, and combination packages for parents to use with their children. Reznick also offers a free newsletter. Her website has a wealth of free information offering articles, her blog, and other resources.
- Another excellent resource for parents is Lori Lite’s Stress Free Kids website. She is the author of many creative books, CDs, and curriculums that help children to manage their stress. On her website she also offers free articles and videos looking at stress and its influence on autism, self-esteem/confidence, the family, and more.
- The Raising Socially Anxious Children Blog provides resources and support for parents who have children with anxiety or mood disorders. Previous blog posts have addressed how social anxiety can be helped with the right technique and people. There are also lists of other relevant blogs, books, research studies, and resources.
Remember, if you don’t feel like you are making any progress with helping your child to reduce his stress or you believe his anxiety is increasing, contact an expert in anxiety. She can help determine what is going on and if an actual Social Anxiety Disorder exists. There are varying techniques and treatments and a professional can help determine what will be best for your child.
To find resources on anxiety and social skills, join S-O-S Step-by-Step. You can access hundreds of resources for free.
About Danette Schott, M.A.
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