Reality requires flexibility. We don’t get things our way all the time, and we all have to learn to be OK with that. Infants rely on parents and caregivers to provide for them because they can’t do things for themselves. But when they start to grab the spoon from you, it’s time for them to start learning to negotiate and get along.
Behave, or We Don’t Stay
Chris (my son with autism) was born, as most babies are, pretty inflexible. He wanted his expectations met (who doesn’t?) but had to come to terms with the changeable nature of living in a family even before his little brother was born. Some of that was intentional, and some of it was just the way things are.
My mom raised me with the expectation that “you get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.” As such, I wasn’t a really good audience for tantrums when I became a mom, either. It wasn’t at all fun, and I didn’t make friends in stores, but there were times when I picked him up out of a full shopping cart and just walked out because he was screaming. The funny part is I only had to do it a couple of times for it to sink in: behave, or we don’t stay. Don’t think I won’t change my plans because you aren’t cooperating.
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